HOME AND HEARTACHE

So, I have been debating writing this post for the past week or so, and I finally decided I wanted to address some things I’m struggling with. It’s week 7 of my university studies, which means I have roughly 4 weeks to go until Christmas and don’t get me wrong I’m loving it. I’ve made some beautiful friends that I’ll keep around forever (and some questionable people, but that’s just life). However, it hasn’t all been easy.

I think everyone expects to get a little homesick whilst being away for Uni, but its real hard to deal with it hits you. Only getting to see my Mum and family every 2 weeks (and I’m a lucky one because that’s more than most students can do). I guess I’m just not used to being so out of the loop.

My boyfriend, Alex has been pretty good, but even that’s had a strain. Long distance relationships aren’t simple. Luckily, we still see each other around once a week, but going from seeing each other practically every day, to once a week hasn’t been an easy transition and we will both vouch for that. I miss the late-night calls to come over and the trips to McDonalds when we’re being fat and too lazy to cook dinner. Now everything must be an organised trip, and that’s just taking a while to get used too. I still wouldn't change it for the world.

I miss the little parts of life at home. I feel like I’m missing out on my friends’ lives, like popping over to the Sarll household to see Katie when she’s had a bad day at work. Having a cry with Nikola whilst she’s going through this awful breakup or giving Isabel a cuddle when she’s having a bad time at sixth form. I miss the closeness, the jumping-in-a-car and being there, just around a corner. I miss random drives with Alex and his mates, and trips out on that stupid little ‘boat’. I miss Ely. I miss my old life.

Ely Chirstmas markets

This weekend I got to see my Mum, one on one, and we had the cutest day. We went to the local Christmas markets and filled up on cinnamon churros right outside the cathedral. Warmed up on Eggnog Lattes in my old Starbucks and briefly went around the few shops that Ely has left to offer. It was perfect, but it was over too soon. I also got to see my little baby, Felix. I've never seen a cat get so excited for someone to come home before. He made me feel so welcome and missed. It was awful leaving him behind when I left.

One of the best parts about being home is seeing my friends. I get to catch up, because doing it over social media really isn’t the same. I obviously went into work to see my besties, and make sure they were all doing okay! Then all it took was for Daniel Piper to organise an Ely night out for me to be dancing my troubles away, with Alex and Nikola to ‘Take me home country road’. Obviously, I didn’t have time to see everyone important to me, especially Katie because I miss her like mad!

Nikola Ziemska and I in the Townhouse, Ely

Two days really isn’t enough time, however seeing Isabel made me feel better, a catch up was well over due. Finally getting to comfort Nik after her heartbreak put my mind at ease. Getting to boogie in my favourite place with Al, Nikola, Dan, Henry and a few others made me realise how precious going home really is. I want to see them all the time. Getting two days with Alex in a row felt like reality again, however reality was having to leave. The heartache that comes with leaving everyone behind is unexplainable.

Don’t get me wrong, I love University, it was by far the best decision I’ve made. I absolutely love living here with my dad, and spending more time with this side of my family. However, I wish I could be at home more. I know this post was a bit lengthy and very personal but I wanted to show some emotion on my blog. I love the choices I've made to get me where I am, but I love my home town too.