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Loneliness from the inside

By Jamie-Paige Tucker


We’ve all felt lonely in recent times, with the whole world being in lockdown, we’ve all lost out on valuable quality time with those we love the most. Friends being in different regions, family in different countries and only seeing those in your household for weeks on end.


One positive about a world wide pandemic is that everyone is in the same boat, everyone is struggling with something. The whole mood is similar, we all just want the world to go back to how it used to be. The whole country as a collective just wants to see those they care for.


But one group of people who have been drastically affected by this pandemic is the old and the vulnerable. Many of us have been able to get by with zoom quizzes and facetime calls with those that we can’t be with, but a recent survey has shown that at least 28% of those over 70 don’t feel confident enough to use technology in this way.


In 2018, the NHS published advice and statistics showing the correlation between the elderly and loneliness. Two years ago, it was a common problem that affected over two million British senior citizens. Fast forward to now, and those figures are worse than ever, with the Corona virus isolating the vulnerable from all their family and friends.


Now one in every three elderly people find themselves even more lonely than before.

71 year old widow, Chris Coe, is just one example of someone struggling during these hard times, with loneliness being his biggest concern. “I’m just on my own.” He said. I can’t go out. I have no one in the house with me. I have no internet, and even if I did, I’d have no idea how to do anything on it.”


Chris lost his wife just two years ago, so he’s still getting used to being on his own. Now Covid-19 has isolated him from his remaining friends too. “I just miss interaction; I don’t do a lot now that Wendy is gone. I don’t really eat out; I don’t need restaurants or shops. I just need more than my own company.”


When asked if Chris had any family he could ‘bubble with’, he said: “I have Wendy’s daughter, but she has so much going on. Two kids still going to and from school, a husband who’s still working. I just don’t want to add to that. We speak on the phone often, but I’m not clever enough to do all that video chat stuff”, to which he did laugh at himself. He finally added that he’s very “fortunate” to live in a community that help each other out so much, therefore he is “never 100% alone”.


However, this lack of technological knowledge isn’t the case for everyone over the age of 70. An elderly couple from Sawbridgeworth have been more than grateful to have each other’s company during all this madness.


Brenda and Terry have been married now for 53 years, and are still going strong. When asked if they’d experienced any sort of loneliness during these particularly hard times, Terry answered: “Not really. We are fortunate because we have each other, a lot of others don’t have anyone close to them”


Brenda added: “The iPad has helped, we have been doing weekly zoom calls with our kids and grandchildren which are so important to us, keeps us close when we can’t actually be close to each other.” But its not all about online communication, Terry also added that his few fishing trips a week have really helped him during this time, he said: “I can’t go near them, but at least I can still see and speak to my friends without breaking any rules”. They are both comfortable with life for now, as long as they still have each other. However, they are both eager to get back to family functions as soon as the pandemic eases.


No one should feel alone at any point. However, for everyone this isn’t exactly the case. Some are lucky enough to have a partner to keep them company, but not all are that fortunate. As the colder months are approaching, make sure you are keeping an eye on the elderly people around you, as they may be suffering more than you realise. Unfortunately, there hasn’t been a lot of support during the virus, for those of a vulnerable age.


The pandemic disproportionally affects the elderly, they are the most vulnerable party yet seem to have been left to sort themselves out. And those in care homes have been isolated from their loved ones completely. However with a vaccine in the works, hopefully everyone can be reunited safely, soon.


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